really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
