I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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