Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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