ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
