like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
