lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
