Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
