So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
