yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
