why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
