i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
