Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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