Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
