I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
