Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
