i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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