And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
