Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
