Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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