worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
