bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We had sex on a dog bed..
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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