my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He is an equal opportunity slut.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
