my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
