I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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