Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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