it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
