I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
