I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
