so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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