? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
