I'm jealous of your bromance
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
