Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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