I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
