Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
