I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
