I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
