He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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