you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
