Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
