I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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