You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
