My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
