hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
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