My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
