I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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