do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
