My sheets look like a crime scene.
I will die if light touches me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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