Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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