Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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