We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
