I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
