Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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